Happiness: The Upside of Feeling Down and the Value of Opposites
As draining and painful as the experiencing of ‘negative’ emotions can be, they serve a huge purpose that shouldn’t go forgotten. They signal to us that something needs to change, and they're actually necessary for feeling good.
Each component of every emotion has a critical job to do – the constructive aspect of anger prepares us to move forward with what we want, the productive aspect of envy urges us to improve our standing, and the valuable side of embarrassment allows us to take stock and save face. Think yin and yang. What we consider to be negative emotions actually highlight opportunities for self-repair and gain. They form one half (albeit a very memorable and powerful half) of the full range of psychological states that we must engage with in order to better understand ourselves and others; they provide comparison – a full circle. Yin and yang. Knowing our emotions, and when and how to deploy them, is a powerful tool.
Similarly, opposites and differences in relationships, teams and organisations are vital for this ‘full circle’ of efficiency. Diversity is vitality, but our differences can quite often cause conflictwhen paired with a lack of understanding. We also tend to unconsciously hold onto our (often skewed due to said lack of awareness) perception of conflict or negative interaction for much longer than we do the positive as an act of self-preservation (fight or flight). It’s within the facing head-on of what or whom we find hugely different to us and usually difficult for us that diversity becomes vitality, and the full circle of efficient communication is complete.
Our behaviourally ‘opposite’ individuals are usually where we face most challenge. We assess behaviours they exhibit that don’t fit our needs or expectations because we hold different values and characteristics and we don’t understand them, so we don’t like them. If everyone had a deeper understanding of each other’s values, motivations, stresses and needs, we’d be able to satisfy others’ and them ours more of the time, bridging the gap and opening up conversation.
Creating the Ideal Environment
Your Insights Discovery Personal Profile can be used to bring about profound personal development. One of the main benefits of the Insights colour model is that it is so accessible – the model is easy to grasp and is strongly evidenced by everyday behaviours displayed by those around you.
Using the ‘Creating the Ideal Environment’ section;
- Take a few minutes to review what it says and notice your reaction to it.
- Pick two statements that you feel are within your control to improve.
- Act on the statements you've chosen.
- Feel more contented.
- Repeat.
By taking control of your own environment and crafting an atmosphere where you feel more comfortable and your needs are being better met, you are enhancing your own levels of satisfaction – people are generally most effective when their environment suits their preferences.
Opposite Type
Recognising the characteristics displayed by your opposite type can help in developing strategies for enhanced interpersonal effectiveness. Whilst our opposites usually have the ability to drive us bonkers, they also hold strengths that we can learn from, and vice versa – the challenge is in the communication gap. By reviewing the ‘Opposite Type’ section in your Discovery profile and keeping it front of mind, you can better react to behaviour you might find challenging from those around you. Equally, by sharing it, the knowledge is spread further and becomes more effective.
Read more on opposite type, stress, and conflict