Acceptance during the COVID-19 crisis
Above all else, this is a time for our collective humanity to shine through.
When the Covid-19 crisis swept the world, it became clear that we were all going to have to deal with it in some shape or form for the rest of 2020 at least and quite possibly well into 2021. Following lockdown, clients, colleagues and friends reported familiar concerns … I think I have it … I may have had it … I can’t risk bringing it into the family, especially not my mum and dad … I’m rattling around on my own all day … lucky you! there’s five of us in here plus the dogs … it’s a nightmare trying to work from home … the weather’s so nice … I’m getting bored with it all now …
We’re experiencing so much change and uncertainty right now but one thing is for sure – the more we can develop and hold onto a sense of acceptance of the situation, and nourish ourselves and one another, the better we will all come through this.
Acceptance during the COVID-19 crisis
It can feel like a big ask, but in the face of so much change and uncertainty, there’s a very real need for us to find a way of accepting what’s happening without knowing all the answers. That doesn’t mean we stop trying to figure out how to get through the crisis. It doesn’t mean we stop planning for the future. But it does invite us to find ways to make peace with the situation as best we can. We can still try to solve the problem but avoid adding to it by becoming unduly stressed out by it.
It’s easy to confuse acceptance of a problem with being resigned to it but they’re different things. Being resigned to something is more of a reaction. Acceptance, on the other hand, is much more proactive – we’re choosing how to respond, and in doing that, we’re gaining a degree of control that we otherwise might not have. Acceptance is about letting go. We stop resisting the way things are, find ways to work with them and maybe even solve the problems they present, just minus the angst we’d been feeling before.
“Acceptance of suffering does not mean we should not do everything in our power to solve a problem. However, acceptance helps us not to make it worse with the additional burden of mental and emotional suffering.”
The Dalai Lama
How to nourish ourselves
Read: Our tips to help you work from home during the coronavirus outbreak
It may not be at all clear how we’re being affected on an emotional and physical level by these deeply unfamiliar and unsettling times. Restricted movement brings a whole raft of pressures, as does being cooped up for weeks on end alone or with bored and stressed out family members. Simple things we all took for granted, like going to the shops, visiting friends and relatives, or even just touching our faces suddenly become complicated.
How does that make you feel? Scared? Frustrated that you can’t work or leave the house when you want to? Stressed that you have to work from home? Anxious that you’re a key worker being exposed to risk? Worried about money? Angry at people who won’t stick to social distancing? Guilty because you can’t visit elderly parents? All of these things?
It sounds kind of obvious but it’s worth saying anyway … we so need to make time for ourselves just now. Time to relax, time to talk to friends and family, time to exercise, watch a film, listen to music, play with the kids, talk to our partners, do a yoga session, meditate, breathe, centre ourselves. Maybe we need to build routines around this, to have a strategy for meeting our needs. It’s so easy to get swept away in other agendas or to get too loose when hours blur into days and days blur into weeks with nothing much to distinguish one from the other.
Whether you have more time on your hands now or less, you absolutely deserve and need to spend a healthy amount of it on you. No guilt, no beating up on yourself, just investing in you - for now and for whatever’s still to come.
“What the world needs most is openness: open hearts, open doors, open eyes, open minds, open ears, open souls.”
Robert Muller, Assistant Secretary-General to the United Nations
How to nourish others
Read: Our guide to managing homeworkers
In a recent podcast, author and team management expert Patrick Lencioni suggested we should all do our utmost to be “exceedingly human” during the present crisis. Communication lacking … productivity slowing … KPIs at risk … motivation waning … kids getting ansty … parents getting cross … come back to the relationship element, every time. Renew it, reinforce it, deepen it, explore it, enjoy it! We all, in our own particular ways, will need plenty of TLC for as long as the pandemic lasts and beyond. Some of us will need more than others, but whether we’re more Introverted or Extraverted, more Thinking or more Feeling, our relationships will be the glue that holds this whole situation together.
There are any number of things we can do…
- Virtual coffee breaks with colleagues we know well and not so well
- Team check-ins with and without an agenda – social time is so important
- Informal one-to-ones between managers and direct reports … how’s it going, how are you? What’s working for you? What isn’t? How can I help? Go long on relationship, short on task
- Go through your Insights colour profile with your boss or a colleague or two … what does your style tell you about how you’re functioning at the moment? What might be stressing you out and triggering ‘Bad Day’ reactions? What might help you keep your motivation or productivity up?
- Senior management business updates … how the pandemic is affecting us right now, critical numbers and results, short to medium term prognosis, customer impact, pay, furlough, redundancies, anyone sick?
- Senior and middle managers … be visible, be available
- Restate the company Vision and Values, restate key Objectives and Goals
- Tell stories that demonstrate how we’re pulling together to get through this
- Where are we making progress? Where are we winning? Reasons to be cheerful … 1, 2, 3 …
- Open dialogues – there are times to ‘push’ information and times to ‘pull’ it … create plenty of time for people to ask questions about anything that’s on their minds
- It’s ok to be vulnerable – “I’m sorry, I don’t know” is a perfectly acceptable response
- Communicate with maximum openness and honesty … nothing less will do
